Just to help set the scene, it's currently pouring rain outside and The Antlers are playing in the background...
After watching Struck By Lighting (I can already tell it's going to be one of those posts where I link to anything and everything possible) I am inspired to write. And write. And maybe write some more off the Internet.
Quick aside: I spotted the perfect journal at Target today. I resisted any temptation and bought good food instead. I may have spent more money than I needed to, but you know what? THAT'S OKAY. I have delicious hummus and pita chips in my life now.
(Seriously, if you haven't heard this song, you're missing out.)
Right, on to the main point of this post: chase after what you want with determination, poise and integrity. It may be all that matters.
While I'm incredibly grateful to have two part-time jobs this summer, I owe it all to me. And although it will be nice not to be singing the broke blues, earning money is not what I should be celebrating. I should be celebrating me and the skills I have acquired and the people I've met to get me here. This sounds like I was manipulative. I prefer the word savvy and resourceful because certainly no back-stabbing was involved. It was all...me. I set the plans in motion and lined up the dominos to fall as I anticipated.
This probably sounds highly self-congratulatory. I don't care. I think I need that in my life. I'm always stepping down from the spotlight, fearful of being called arrogant or pretentious or whatever. I'm always self-sacrifcing for the benefit of others. No more. I can't live like that any longer. I need to show how confident and competent I know myself to be and the dominos will proceed to fall.
Still, I tend to second guess nearly everything. For instance, I second guessed my decision to stay in St. Paul for the summer before I knew I'd be working two part-time jobs because a decent paying part-time job just wasn't enough. I second guessed taking a shower this late in the evening. Heck, I second guessed my decision to eat a piece dark chocolate. These notions are silly and ridiculous and frankly, unhealthy. I've always admired other people who can "live in the moment" and stop "over-analyzing." I see, now, the heavy burden they shed by doing so. And while I can't stop over-analyzing completely, it's time I let certain things go too. Holding onto the should-bes and could-bes only prevents me from fully realizing the will-bes.
So eat the dark chocolate, Lizzie. You gotta do you, and it will benefit you in the long run.
May 25, 2013
These past few weeks can be described as a series of both fortunate and unfortunate events. I am in my new room for the summer, and although it is a dorm, my split triple (one common room, three singles) feels more like an apartment. Me gusta. Furthermore, my suitemate doesn't arrive until 1st so I've really been spoiled to have this all to myself. Pictures to come when I finally have it all decorated, which will hopefully be soon.
Even so, summer has begun and here is a rough list of what I want to experience:
- yoga (I have a weekly class on Tuesdays!)
- read poetry and books
- target language study (I listen to the news in Spanish every morning)
- visit parks and museums
- make videos
- blog weekly, if not more often
- bike to the Mississippi weekly
- trim my music library so I can expand it more
- watch films
- establish new friendships
- maintain old friendships (from college and high school)
What's on your summer bucket list?
May 14, 2013
Emily, Sana and Zoe.
I can see the end, my friends.
We are packing up and shipping out.
Two are gone now
of our original four
and I'll be the last one standing.
Emily, the vivacious cat-loving ginger,
often perched from her bed.
She would snicker about an episode of
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
and make faces at me, all the time.
Zoe, the dinosaur connoisseur,
and future geologist.
She would go hiking with Ariana
and let us know when all
the campus events were happening.
Sana, the phantom fourth,
would Skype from 11 to 2 am.
She would be off doing something
for LOC, PPL, or studying chem,
living up to her favorite animal: the owl.
We've shared laughs
and outrageous moments.
Named honorary roommates
and fed them all.
(Usually popcorn, or goldfish.)
We've told Dan to "get out,"
watched movies with Abby and Erin,
and heard just about everyone say,
"wow, this room is SO big."
(Yes, we know.)
The room, though large, was cosy.
We all decorated our respective sections.
We even had the "roommate wall,"
where our bus passes, movie tickets, etc.
converged onto one canvas of white.
(Now it's blank again. Depressing.)
This year has brought some lows,
but also some highs.
(No, not of that variety.)
Is it everything I dreamed?
No, probably not.
But considering I wasn't sure what to expect from a "quad"
I loved it and will miss it an awful lot.
My idealist sensibilities were pleased
with this amazing reality.
I couldn't have asked to spend it with better people.
These are lifelong friends,
and maybe we'll even get a house together.